Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
