my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
