benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
