would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize