U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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