I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
