i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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