There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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