I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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