maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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