White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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