Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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