Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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