I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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