his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Of course I have a pirate flag
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
