Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
