No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
