was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
