Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize