What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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