Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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