I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
