Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
