we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
