we have officially lost it.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
