Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
