I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
God, I missed his penis.
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