Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize