dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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