I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
