I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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