i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
It's blow job season.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
