I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
