Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
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