nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
