chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
third nipple confirmed
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
