I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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