If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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