But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
