I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
My breasts were aching with rage.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
