Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
