Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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