Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
we're chasing vodka with high fives
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
