Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
