I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
