if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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