i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
