walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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