We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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