1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
