What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
