i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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