The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize