I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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