It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize