Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
