dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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