i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
